Study Circle

Being Non Judgemental

STUDY CIRCLE SERIES: RIGHT THINKING

AM I BEING NON JUDGEMENTAL AND ACCEPTING PEOPLE AS THEY ARE?

SWAMI’S QUOTE:
Do not judge others to decide whether they deserve your service. Find out only whether, they are distressed; that is enough credential. do not examine how they behave towards others; they can be certainly transformed by love. Service is for you as sacred as a vow, a sadhana , a spiritual path. It is the very breath; it can end only when breath takes leave of you. Sathya Sai Speaks, Vol 10 (1970)

OTHER PHILOSOPHERS:

The distinction between judgment and discernment: Discernment means perceiving the way things are, period.
Judgment is what we add to discernment when we make a comparison (implicit or explicit) between how things or people are and how we think they ought to be. So, in judgment, there’s an element of dissatisfaction with the way things are and a desire to have things be the way we want them to be.
Toni Bernhard from Tiny Buddha (Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives)

STORY:
There is an old Welsh fable told of a dog that had belonged to Llywelyn the Great, a Prince of Gwynedd in the 13th century. He had been given the dog as a gift from King John of England. Prince Llywelyn’s wife had passed away and the dog was charged with watching the cradle of the Prince’s baby when he went hunting. After one hunting trip the prince had returned home to find the cradle of the baby overturned and the bedding and the floor covered in blood. With the baby missing and seeing his dog with blood covering his mouth the Prince plunged his sword into the dog thinking that he had killed the baby. The dog’s dying yelp was answered by a child’s cry. The prince searched and found the baby unharmed lying near the dead body of a mighty wolf. The dog had actually been protecting the baby as his owner had desired. It is said that the Prince was filled with such remorse that he never smiled again. The story makes a good point, though dramatic. Making quick judgments can lead to regrets, sometimes very large regrets. Often, we tell ourselves stories about others without all the facts.

POINT TO PONDER:
If you are feeling frustrated, dismissive or angry of someone, you are judging. If you are gossiping or complaining about someone, you are judging.

The first step is recognition.

QUESTIONS:

  1. What is the reason of your judging people/situations?
  2. Is it easy for you to accept others as they are?
  3. Have you had any unrealistic expectations from the other person?
  4. Can you guess what the other person is going through?
  5. Can you stop your self-centeredness and put yourself in the shoes of the other person?

PRACTICAL APPLICATION:

  1. Stop blaming yourselves.

    This is a common problem

    We need to understand that our brain is hard wired for survival. When we are confronted, and feel threatened, we go instinctively go into a fight or flight mode and cannot use our insight and judge well (Discernment).

  2. Pause.

    This is not easy at first but with practice, can be incorporated in our daily life.
    Be mindful, catch before you respond in any form as you cannot take your words back

  3. Judge the behavior, not the person.

    Swami calls us ”Divyathama swarupulu”
    He is in us and we may not remember it all the time.
    By judging others as good or bad, we are indirectly Judging Swami

    However, we have to discriminate between good and bad, the eternal and the temporary, and make decisions in our lives.

    “Transformation to become a better human being is within the reach of everyone.”